That Was Unexpected
by George Weasley's Ear
Summary: A series of drabbles about the silly stuff that can happen when you're living on board the TARDIS. I will post more chapters soon. Rated K for now. It is unlikely that the rating will go up, but it could. Please give me prompts in your reviews, coz I will write them.
1. Degeneration?

Disclaimer: Do I look like I'm the BBC?

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Rose was sitting down to read a book when she heard someone calling her name. It didn't sound like the Doctor at all.

'Rose?' called a deep voice. 'Could you come into the control room? Something weird's happened!'

She sighed. Forget ever reading this book. Sitting on the jump seat in the console room was a tall man with very curly hair and a long scarf.

'Doctor?' asked Rose.

'Yes, it's me. Something bizarre seems to have happened.'

'What do you mean? Why do you look like that?'

'It appears that I have… degenerated,' said the Doctor with a slight hint of laughter in his voice. 'Degenerated. Hmm, I don't think I've ever heard of this happening before.'

'What, is that like regenerating?'

'Well, yes, but the opposite. You see, I've already looked like this. This was my fourth body.'

'How'd it happen?' Rose demanded.

'I think I may have annoyed the TARDIS. The old girl probably didn't want me to do the repairs I was about to do, so she did this to me.'

'Why did your clothes change, too?' she asked him.

'No idea. I suppose they were still in the wardrobe.'

Rose rolled her eyes at him.

'I don't know what I'm gonna do with you, Doctor. You're like a little lost puppy half the time.'

'I guess I'm stuck like this until the TARDIS decides she forgives me.'

'Apologizing never hurts,' said a voice. A woman in a long TARDIS blue dress with brown hair appeared.

'Who are you?' asked Rose. Blimey, she was asking a lot of questions today.

'I am the TARDIS,' said the woman. 'When I need to appear to someone so I can talk to them, I look like this. The Doctor finds me attractive, I believe.'

'I do not!' said the Doctor indignantly. 'I said you look pretty like this, once. But that was a long time ago!'

'There is no need to lie to me, my thief. I can hear your thoughts. And I thought that you wanted to turn back into your normal self. That requires an apology.'

The Doctor sighed.

'I'm sorry, TARDIS. I didn't mean anything by it.'

'Apology accepted,' said the TARDIS.

With a flash of light, he was back to normal. The TARDIS interface disappeared.

'Umm, Doctor?' said Rose.

'Yes, Rose?'

'Look at what you're wearing.'

He was still wearing the same clothes and the scarf, but they were much too big for him.

'To the wardrobe!' he said, and they began walking over to it, Rose giggling the whole time.

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A/N: I hope you guys liked this. I might think of more silly situations for the Doctor and various companions to get into. I will post them if I do.


	2. The Survey

After the ordeal with degeneration, the Doctor and Rose decided to stay away from the console room for a while.

'You've been with me for a while, Rose, haven't you?' asked the Doctor.

'Uh, yeah?' said Rose, confused. 'Why?'

'Oh, I just thought it was time you took a little survey.'

'A survey,' said Rose.

'Yup,' said the Doctor as a sheet of paper and a pencil appeared in his hand.

He handed both to Rose, saying he needed to check something that he didn't specify.

'Fine, Doctor,' she muttered. 'I'll humour you by taking the stupid quiz.'

She began to read question one.

_Question One: Do you find it hard to concentrate on anything because of the colours of my coat?_

'What?' said Rose.

She wrote: _Your coat is __brown__!_

_Question Two: Do you think that I have too much of a superiority complex? If so, what are your thoughts on this?_

_She wrote: Erm, not really… You act annoying sometimes, but you probably know that._

_Question Three: Do you often feel frightened on our adventures?_

She wrote: _I don't know, I guess._

_Question Four: Do you like my hair? Is it too blond and curly?_

'Blond and curly?' she wondered.

She wrote: _Yeah, I like your hair. But it isn't blond and curly!_

Rose was starting to get annoyed at the random questions. They didn't make any sense!

'Doctor!' she called.

He appeared so quickly that it looked like he had teleported. Which, come to think of it, he probably had.

'Yes, my dear Rose?' he asked.

She handed him the question sheet. He read through it.

'Oh,' he said. 'I keep meaning to update this, but I haven't had time. Blimey, it looks like it's the one I used in my sixth life! Sorry about that, Rose.'

'It's fine, Doctor,' she said, rolling her eyes slightly at him. 'But blond curly hair, seriously?'

'Hey, I don't question your hair!'

'No comment ,' said Rose.

'I'll just go get a new one,' said the Doctor.

He hurried from the room before Rose could see him blushing.

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A/N: There, another chapter. This is based very vaguely off of something happened in Doctor Who Silly Stories by cheri1. You should read that, by the way. It's funny. I hope you liked this. The next chapter will be up within two days, probably.


	3. Siiinging in the Shower!

It's a fact little known by anyone but his companions that the Doctor sings in the shower. Rose did not find this out for a long time, oddly enough. One day, though, she happened to walk by a bathroom while he was in there.

'I want to beeee happy, but I won't beeee happy till I make you happy too!' Rose heard him belting out over the water running. Maybe he couldn't hear himself over the water, but he was dreadful. She giggled. He was so silly, she couldn't help herself.

Rose was so busy laughing that she didn't hear the shower turn off. The door opened and the Doctor stepped out, whistling, with a towel around his waist. Suddenly, he stopped whistling and stared at her, eyes wide.

'Blimey, Rose!' he shouted. 'How long have you been there?!'

'I dunno. How long have you been singing in the shower?' she said cheekily.

'I always sing in the shower, Rose. Where've you been?'

'The moon.'

The Doctor stuck his tongue out childishly at her.

'So, Doctor, did I scare you?' asked Rose.

'Yup. I'm just quaking in my trainers,' the Doctor said rather sarcastically, even though he had been.

'You aren't wearing trainers, Doctor. You've just got the towel,' Rose pointed out, sniggering.

He looked down and seemed to notice what he was wearing for the first time.

'Um, right. Good point. I'd better go change. Never speak of this to anyone, Rose Tyler! Ever.'

And on that note he sprinted off in the opposite direction, leaving his chuckling companion behind him.

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A/N: Hello! Yes, it is I. As you obviously now know, I updated this fic, finally. I might do Doctor Number 11 and Amy next chapter. Rory may be there too. Hope you keep reading. Remember, same Who time, same Who channel!

No... I'm never saying that again...

I'm leaving now. Bye. *Waves*


	4. Breaking the Fourth Wall

Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Sherlock Holmes, or the Hunger Games. Enjoy the craziness that will soon ensue!

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One day the TARDIS landed on a small grassy planet that resembled the one from the Teletubbies. The Doctor, Amy, and Rory stepped out the door while the Doctor babbled loudly about something neither companion really understood.

'So anyway, that's why she's called the Queen of Sheba,' the Doctor finished.

'How'd he get on the subject of the Queen of Sheba?' Rory asked Amy quietly.

'Don't ask questions, Rory,' Amy whispered back. 'Just nod like you understood.'

The Doctor walked along humming to himself with the Ponds close behind until he tripped over a small puffball.

'Whoa!' said the Doctor as he fell over.

He somehow managed to do a spectacular cartwheel and land on his feet. The Ponds burst out laughing while giving him mock applause.

'Nice one, Doctor!' Amy cheered sarcastically.

'Do I detect a hint of sarcasm, Pond?' the Doctor asked.

'No, why would you think that?' asked Amy, still sounding sarcastic.

The Doctor stuck his tongue out at her. Rory had picked up the puffball and was rolling it around in his hand.

'Is this what you tripped over, Doctor?' Rory asked him.

'Erm, yes,' the Doctor blushed.

'Would ya look at that, Rory? The mighty Oncoming Storm brought down by a cute little fluff ball,' Amy mocked. Rory snorted.

'Hush, Pond. I have to break the fourth wall,' the Doctor said. He shook his fist at the sky. 'MOFFAT! There, got that out of my system. You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that.'

Amy and Rory just stared at him.

'Uh, Doctor, are you feeling alright? You didn't consume enough alcohol to get you drunk again, did you?' Amy asked, concerned.

'No,' said the Doctor. 'Am I really the only person who realises that we're on a television show written by Steven Moffat, or is that just the bizarre mind of the author of this story at work?'

'It might be that,' said Rory. 'Those fan-fiction writers really love to mess around with our lives.'

'Yeah, those people are weird. Did you see that one where Hermione Granger from Harry Potter was actually River?' put in Amy.

'Of course we did, Amy. You made us both read it,' said the Doctor. 'Now we really need to quit breaking the fourth wall and get back to the plot.'

Amy was now holding the puffball.

'This thing is so sweet! Can we keep it?' she said as it began to trill happily.

Amy had put on her rare puppy face that she knew neither the Doctor nor Rory could resist. She could tell it was working because both men were clearly about to say 'Aww!'

'Oh fine, whatever,' the Doctor and Rory said in unison.

Then they suddenly seemed to snap out of it.

'Amy, what did we just agree to?' asked Rory.

'We don't have to wear tutus for a week again, do we? Tutus are not cool,' the Doctor pouted.

'You just agreed to let me keep this.' Amy held up the puffball.

'Oh,' said Rory, relieved. 'That's not so bad. It's kind of cute.'

The Doctor was staring intently at the puffball -he thought it looked familiar—when it emitted a high-pitched screeching sound.

'That sounds like a warning call,' said the Doctor.

'Run?' Amy offered.

'Sounds like a good plan to me,' said Rory.

'Yes. Run! Come along, Ponds!'

'He has to say that every time, doesn't he?' asked Rory as they ran back to the TARDIS.

'Yeah, he does!' Amy said back.

'What are you talking about?' asked the Doctor.

'Twitter posts,' said Rory, knowing the Doctor would be bored and stop listening to their conversation.

'Bleck,' the Doctor said, messing around with the TARDIS controls.

Once he got them into the Time Vortex, the Doctor yawned.

'I think I'll turn in for the night,' he told the Ponds.

'OK, us too,' said Amy.

They all went to their bedrooms. The Ponds caught a glimpse of the Doctor in his pyjamas, which had a pattern of bowties. They rolled their eyes at each other, climbed into their bunk beds, and went to sleep. Amy had left the puffball on their dresser.

The next morning (or what passed for morning on the TARDIS) the Doctor woke up and went into the control room. He was fiddling with the controls when he noticed a fluffy little ball sitting next to the zigzag plotter.

'What are you doing there, little guy? You should be in Amy and Rory's bedroom.'

It trilled at him and he smiled. It was pretty cute.

'Alright,' he said to it. 'I won't tell on you. Just don't fall off.'

He walked around the console and saw the puffball sitting on the other side.

'But you were on the other side. How'd you get here?'

The puffball trilled again.

'OK, maybe I didn't get enough sleep last night and I'm hallucinating.'

He went back to doing that thing he was doing with the controls. The Ponds came out into the control room.

'Morning Doctor,' they said.

'Morning Ponds,' he replied, not looking up from what he was doing.

Then he did look up. Rory had the puffball on his head. He burst out laughing.

'What is it, Doctor?' asked Rory, apparently not noticing his odd headgear.

'The puffball! It's on your head!'

'No it's not. Amy's got it on her shoulder.'

The Doctor looked at Amy. Sure enough, there it was.

'What?' said the Doctor, sounding like his tenth incarnation.

'What are you on about, Doctor? Are you sleep-walking?' asked Amy.

'No. But the puffball was on one side of the console, then it was on the other side, then it was on Rory's head, now it's on your shoulder.'

'Doctor, the puffball is on your bowtie,' said Rory.

'No, Rory, don't be silly. It's on your head.'

'Look down, Doctor,' said Amy.

He looked down. There it was, on his bowtie, trilling. Then he looked up and saw that the puffball was on Rory's head and Amy's shoulder. And there were about five of them rolling around on the floor.

'Huh? What in the name of Gallifrey is going on? Have we finally all gone mad?' the Doctor was completely confused.

'Hello, Sweetie,' said River behind them.

'River? How did you get here?' asked the Doctor, turning around.

River had a puffball in her hair.

'Vortex manipulator, Sweetie.'

'OK, yes. That at least makes sense. But do you know why there are all these puffballs in here?'

'What are you talking about?' asked River.

Then she saw the puffballs.

'Well, that's a bit odd.'

'Bit Ood, yeah,' said a voice.

They all turned around to see the tenth Doctor.

'What?' said the eleventh Doctor, perplexed.

'That's my line, Bowtie,' said the tenth Doctor.

'But you aren't supposed to be here!'

'Sure I am.'

'No, you're really not.'

'Well that's just fantastic!' said the ninth Doctor.

Wait, the ninth Doctor? Now I'm confused! Why did I type that?!

'Wait, where am I again?' asked the eighth Doctor.

OK, now the eighth Doctor was in the TARDIS. There, now we're back to past tense. Or we were. Or we will have been.

'ACE!' yelled the seventh Doctor. 'Hold on, why am I here?'

The eleventh Doctor had reached breaking point.

'EVERYBODY SHUT UP!' he screamed.

They all stared at him.

'Well you're a funny little fellow,' said the eighth Doctor. 'Sorry, have we met? I can't remember.'

'You can never remember anything, Eight,' said the ninth Doctor. 'Now go to your room!'

'I don't remember where that is.'

'Now you're just trying to be difficult.'

The ninth and eighth Doctors started to squabble.

'Can anyone explain what's going on?' asked Rory.

'No,' said the eleventh Doctor.

Suddenly the crack in time that kept following the main characters around opened up in the ceiling and thousands of puffballs fell out on top of the Doctors, River, and the Ponds. They all quickly swam to the surface of all the puffballs. Then the fourth Doctor's hat and scarf fell out of the crack, which promptly closed.

'Well that's... wizard,' said the tenth Doctor.

Then all the Doctors who had appeared vanished.

'I suppose we could jettison the lot of them,' said River, gesturing at the pile of puffballs.

'Yes, we should do that, but first I shall play my violin,' said Sherlock Holmes.

'Why are you here?' asked Captain Kirk.

Wait, Captain Kirk, Sherlock Holmes? This is a Doctor Who fan-fic!

'Yes, Captain, you are correct in asking that. I fail to see the logic of any of this,' said Spock.

'Hey, you aren't Professor McGonagall!' said Harry Potter.

'Why are you all here?' the Doctor shouted.

'We're here to play cricket with you, Doctor,' Katniss Everdeen told him.

Then 'I Am the Doctor' by Murray Gold began to play.

'Everybody listen. I'm going to say a load of stuff, and it will sound cool because my awesome action theme is playing! I like to tap-dance when no one is looking because it makes me feel like a goldfish that lives in Canada with a platypus! I think Rory is a stupid octopus face! I smell like butterflies! River has puffy hair! Amy has purple feet! In my next life I want to wear a muumuu with green flip-flops!'

'You're right, that does sound pretty cool with that music, even though everything you said was stupid!' said some person that I don't feel like naming.

'Doctor!' yelled Amy suddenly. 'Doctor! Wake up!'

Someone was shaking the Doctor's shoulder. He opened his eyes.

'Oh good, you're awake,' said Rory. 'You were missing Star Trek.'

The Doctor looked at the TV screen. They were watching 'The Trouble with Tribbles'.

'Oh, that explains the dream,' said the Doctor, relieved.

'Sure does,' said the tenth Doctor with a grin.

The eleventh Doctor screamed like a little girl.

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A/N: I really hope you liked this. The eleventh Doctor wasn't too OOC, was he? Let me know. The Tribble idea was given to me by PlushChrome. Here's a link u/4160187/PlushChrome.

I actually was listening to 'I Am The Doctor' while I wrote this. I was thinking about how you could say or do anything with that song playing and it would still be awesome. Now, I must go because the song 'Doomsday' is on and I have to go cry into my pillow. Oh, feels!


	5. What Has He Got in His Pockets?

The tenth Doctor was wandering around aimlessly somewhere. He wasn't really paying attention to where he was going. He was also pretty sure that Rose had been behind him a second ago.

'Actually,' he said aloud as he turned around. 'Where _is _Rose? Rose? Where are you?'

He whistled like someone would for a dog. (Or a wolf, I suppose. Tee hee, d'you get it? Coz she's the Bad Wolf. No? OK, never mind, back to the story.)

'Hang on,' the Doctor said to himself. 'Rose isn't a dog. Silly Doctor. OK. Focus. She probably didn't go in that shop over there because they sell men's socks and Rose is female. Unless she's actually a man dressed up as a girl… No, that's stupid, and stop going off into tangents; that won't help…'

The Doctor was still muttering to himself as he walked back down the road. He didn't even notice when a little kid pointed at him from behind his mum.

'Mummy, that man talks to himself,' the kid whispered. (Rather annoyingly, in my opinion, but not the Doctor's because he's not paying attention.)

The Doctor kept going for a mile or so before going up to a woman wearing all green. (Even her hair was green! Weird, huh?)

'Excuse me,' he said. 'Has a girl gone by here? Smallish, blonde, a bit too much make-up?'

'Why do you wanna know?' asked the woman rudely.

'Because she's my friend, and I'd like to be sure she's alright!'

'Uh huh,' she said, clearly not believing him.

'No, seriously, she is. I can prove it. I just need to find her first.'

'How do I know you aren't a serial killer who wants to stab her and then bury her under your hydrangeas?'

'I'm not a serial killer, and I don't have any hydrangeas, and most importantly, I don't have a knife. Here, I'll show you.'

The Doctor dug into his pockets, pulling out a yo-yo, a yellow sock with hearts on it, and a banana. Then he stuck his hand in further and found a mug that said _Universe's Best Time Lord_, the third Harry Potter book, a painting of a poodle, another banana, a box of lined paper, a birthday card for a guy named Boris, and a toy TARDIS. He put all of the stuff in the green lady's arms and kept looking through his many pockets. He found a toothbrush and a jar of peanut butter, which he handed to her. Then, finally, a small hydrangea bush.

'Aha! So you do have hydrangeas!' said the green lady victoriously, apparently not caring about the outrageous size of the Doctor's pockets.

'Blimey, I must not have been thinking ahead this morning. My pockets are practically empty!' the Doctor muttered.

He reached into another pocket and got out his sonic screwdriver and psychic paper.

'Yay!' he said at the sight of the sonic.

The green lady seemed to realise how much stuff she was holding and shoved it back at the Doctor, who stuffed it all into his trouser pocket.

'There,' sighed the Doctor. 'Now one pocket feels normal.'

The green woman suddenly understood the weirdness of the situation and stared at the skinny, spiky-haired Time Lord in amazement. (Look, description!)

'Well, as you can see,' the Doctor said smugly. 'I do not, in fact, carry any sort of weapon on my person.'

'Yeah, but the hydrangea bush looked a bit sketchy to me,' the woman countered.

The Doctor merely raised an eyebrow.

'Hey, you said you didn't have any hydrangeas, but you did!' she said.

'Yes, I know. But have you seen my friend?' the Doctor asked in an exasperated way.

'Umm. No,' the woman told him.

'So I just emptied my pockets for no reason,' the Doctor nearly screamed.

'Not really. It was amusing for me,' the green lady chuckled.

The Doctor sighed. He was turning to leave when someone tapped his shoulder. He spun around and grabbed Rose in a hug. (In case you didn't guess, Rose tapped his shoulder…)

'Doctor, I'm happy to see you too, but I was just in that shop over there,' she said, confused. 'I told you I was gonna go in there, and you said "OK."'

The Doctor looked embarrassed.

'What, didn't ya hear me?' Rose asked.

'Erm, not exactly,' the Doctor said.

Rose rolled her eyes.

'What am I gonna do with you, Doctor?'

'You could give me another hug,' he suggested.

'C'mon, silly,' said Rose, pulling him to the TARDIS by his tie, like it was a leash.

'Hey!' the Doctor said. 'I know where I parked! I don't need you yanking me over there!'

Rose laughed, and didn't let go until she'd gotten him safely inside.

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A/N: I really don't know where that came from. I was just thinking about the Doctor's pockets, and voila! This appeared in my head. My mind is a very strange place sometimes... Ooh, also, speaking of minds but not really, have you all seen the new DW episode Cold War? I thought it was excellent. What did you lot think of it?

Well, as I can think of no more to talk about in this author's note, I bid you adieu! That sounded very strange. That's not how I normally talk... Bye!


	6. When Huge Jammie Dodgers Attack!

'Doctor!'

The Doctor was using the toilet, so he didn't answer the scream until he'd flushed and washed his hands. He ran out of the bathroom, hands dripping. Darn it, he'd forgotten to dry them.

'Amy?' he called as he zoomed into the control room. 'Are you alright?'

His ginger companion was waving a stick at a huge, floating Jammie Dodger with a mouth and eyes. The Doctor stared at it for a moment.

'Hi!' he said to it, waving enthusiastically. 'I'm the Doctor, and that's Amy. Is there anything I can help you with?'

'Yes,' the Jammie Dodger said in a booming voice.

'Really?' the Doctor asked, rubbing his hands together excitedly. 'What?'

'You can assist me in eating you.'

'Oh. Erm, that sounds really fun and all, but could we do that another day? I'm quite busy today. You've heard of a rain-check, right?' the Doctor asked.

'No. I do not know of this "rain-check" you speak of. However, I do know that you have eaten many of my smaller brethren, so now I must avenge them!'

The Doctor just blinked at the Jammie Dodger.

'What?' said Amy. 'No. The Doctor _never _eats Jammie Dodgers!'

She sounded extremely sarcastic when she said this, and the Doctor put a finger to his lips, furiously pointing to it. When that didn't work, he mouthed 'shush!' at her.

'The Doctor never even looks at Jammie Dodgers! In fact, he probably doesn't know what they are!'

Apparently, giant talking biscuits don't understand sarcasm because the Jammie Dodger said:

'Is that so? Sorry about that! I must have gotten mixed up. I was thinking of Bob the Evil Jammie Dodger Eating Man!' the Jammie Dodger said, his voice changing to one like a fifteen-year-old boy's. 'Y'know, first day on the job and all that. I really am sorry, mate.'

'Aww, that's OK,' the Doctor said quite cheerfully. 'You're forgiven. Completely forgiven. You just got confused.'

'Well, have a nice day!' the Jammie Dodger called before disappearing.

'You too!' the Doctor and Amy shouted back.

'That was weird,' Amy announced.

'Yes, I have to agree with you on that one,' the Doctor said. 'That was pretty weird.'

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A/N: Don't ask me where this came from. It's just my insanity! Tee hee. Aaaaaannnnnyyyywaaaaay, I hope you guys liked this a lot and aren't saying 'Death to the fan-fic writer!' or throwing pears, apples, beans, bacon, and yoghurt at the screen, coz that would make me sad. Also, I have a question for you to answer in your reviews: what do you think life would be like if we'd evolved from turtles? I know that's random and unrelated to this fic, but I'm curious as to what you peoples think. This author's note is turning into a novel, so bye bye!


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